My girlfriend apologized but damage was done

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend accidentally made a rude comment about my height. I don’t think that she meant to be offensive, but my height is something I’m very insecure about.

Harriet Cole

I am feeling different about her now that I know how she really feels. Before she made that comment, she made me feel like my height was something she didn’t pay attention to at all. Now I know that all along she has noticed my insecurity as much as I have.

She immediately apologized, but the damage has been done. How am I supposed to move past this? I feel like the world looks at me as a short man.

Height Insecurity

DEAR HEIGHT INSECURITY: People typically walk around wearing their insecurities on their chests, whether or not they realize it.

Physical appearance tops the list of personal and societal insecurities. Like it or not, people do judge each other by all kinds of measures of appearance.

That said, you already know that you are hypersensitive to your height. Yes, you can say something else to your girlfriend about her blunder. But you may want to focus the conversation on what you struggle with internally. Admit that your height has always been a source of discomfort for you, and you had previously thought it wasn’t an issue for her.

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